Always and Forever
by belli486
Summary: Bella is a modern Cinderella and Edward is a player Prince. Will they live Happily Ever After? AH Rated M for Ripe Lemons. WIP by Belli486. Original Collab between Belli486 and SavageWoman.
1. Prologue Always & Forever

**Disclaimer: **Stephanie Meyer owns the _Twilight Saga. We just took and plopped the characters right down in the middle of a fairy tale and a teen angst movie. We also don't own Ever After or She's All That!_

**SUMMARY:** Bella is a modern Cinderella and Edward is a player Prince. Will they live Happily Ever After? AH Rated M for Ripe Lemons. Orig Collab between Belli486 and SavageWoman.

**ALWAYS AND FOREVER**

**PROLOGUE**

Why is breakfast late?" Irina asked, not bothering with the pleasantry of a good morning.

I delighted in coming up with the most bizarre excuses I could think of to annoy Irina. "I was besieged by menstrual cramps so severe this morning I had to take four Midol before I could even walk."

Irina regarded the artist's smock I was wearing in lieu of an apron. "Seems to me someone's been painting before breakfast again. Look at you, paint everywhere; and is that soot from the basement Buck stove on your face?"

"She should just sleep down there amongst the soot from that stove," Kate said, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "That would be totally apropos for someone of her class."

"What's that god-awful turpentine smell?" Tanya asked, scrunching up her nose and plopping down in a chair. "If you want to smell like a manual laborer...oh right, you are our manual laborer."

"That was impolite, Tanya," Irina said without conviction. "Come here, Bella."

I slunk over to my stepmother. Irina took my face in her hands and looked me over as she often did as if hoping to discover some ancient truth in my visage that wasn't there before. I was convinced that it was in these examinations that she was recalling how much I looked like my mother, the woman whom her husband loved above all others, even in death.

"You could benefit from a makeover, my dear," Irina said finally, with a frown. "What can I do to make you care about your appearance and about me?"

"I do care, Irina. I wish my style wasn't so offensive to you," I said, endeavoring not to sound disingenuous.

"It is hardly your style that offends; it is your flair for the dramatic and your disdain for truth."

"I spend a great deal of time thinking of what I can do, how I can act, that will make you care for me as I care for you Irina," I entreated her with an earnestness that I really didn't feel. I had long ago learned that if I catered to and patronized my stepmother in this manner I got a gentler version of her ire, something more akin to righteous indignation.

Irina took her seat at the head of the table. "In the years since your father died, I have loved and provided for you." I knew that her diatribe would last several minutes, so I pulled the quiche out of the oven, placed it on a trivet on the table and took a seat.

Irina continued as we began our breakfast. "All I require in return is that you do the things I ask of you in a timely fashion and without complaint. Is that so unfair?"

When I wanted the Irina diatribe to end, I knew exactly what to do—agree with her. "No, Irina."

"Good," Irina said, almost as if she was satisfied. But then she continued. "Charlie would roll over in his grave if he had knowledge of your ingratitude. I have sacrificed to make a comfortable life for you here, but apparently it's not enough." She put a strip of bacon to her mouth and nibbled in that affected manner she had of eating. "This bacon is cold."

"Sorry, Irina," I said as if by rote. There was always something about the meal that wasn't to Irina's liking, and her invoking Charlie's name was a new low, even for her.

I usually ate my breakfast and tuned out Irina and the harpies. I had gone into my own thought zone until I heard a name that made my ears perk up in attention.

"Mom," Kate was saying. "Tanya and I met these new rich boys yesterday at the mall in Port Angeles who have moved back to Forks after living several years in California."

"Jasper, Emmett and Edward Cullen," Tanya said excitedly.

I dropped my glass with a thunk, and orange juice splattered everywhere, including on Kate and Tanya's carefully coordinated designer outfits.

"Oh, shit!" Tanya exclaimed. "You've ruined my blouse."

And Kate let loose the granddaddy of all curse words, and twice in front of her mother, no less. "Fuck! Bella, you're a fucking spazz!"

"Language! Girls, a real lady doesn't use such words," Irina said. Then she took an icy tone with me. "Clean this up. Now!"

**E/N:** I am finally making good on my promise to continue this One-Shot for those of you who read and enjoyed our "Fun With Your Clothes On" Submission. I have quite a bit of this already written, so hopefully the updates will appear quickly after the holidays. However, that will be totally up to my flailing mojo and the betas.

It is so good to be writing something again. As many of you know, I've been on hiatus due to family issues, but I am very hopeful that I am back, not only with my two new works in progress, but my first love, "Trust, Loyalty, Commitment." TLC should wrap in the early months of 2011. Please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. - 3 Bev


	2. Chapter 1  Always & Forever

**A/N: When I posted the prologue I was remiss in sharing my heartfelt appreciation for my betas who never fail me grammatically, plot-wise or personally. I'd like to thank SSHG316, SavageWoman and Irritable Grizzzly for taking my rough musings and making them sing.**

**I want to publicly congratulate my 1st fandom beta and friend, Charmie77, who has taken on an exceedingly more important job than reading my writing. She and her husband were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Love you guys!**

**Warning: ****Because of the stories influencing this work (Ever After & She's All That), I'm sure we all realize that there will be a little angst and hardship before the happily ever after, but there will be a happily ever after. If stories that delve into matters of mental health adversely affect or offend you, the next chapter might be one you'll want to skip.**

**This is dedicated to the 115 people who read and reviewed the original one-shot and who unanimously asked for it to be continued. You know who you are! :D**

**ALWAYS AND FOREVER **

**By belli486**

**"'There is a child in all of us,' a child in touch with a truth deeper than the logic of tragedy." **

— _**Frederick Beuchner and Doug Thorpe**_

**BPOV**

My fairy tale began in tragedy, as they so often do.

It's probably safe to say that I, Isabella Marie Swan, fell in love with Edward Anthony Cullen at my mother's funeral. We were both seven. I don't think Renee's death would have affected him so much had he not already experienced the same thing when he was just six. Elizabeth and Edward Masen Sr., had died in a car accident in Chicago.

Esme and Carlisle Cullen were my godparents and my parents' best friends. They had adopted Edward mere months before my mother's death. Until then, I probably could have counted on one hand how many times Edward had spoken to me. However, it was the kinship he felt with me in death that brought our friendship to life. His startling green eyes stark against his pale skin and shocking copper hair had mesmerized me even then.

When I cried for the loss of my mother that day, I really didn't understand all of what was going on. I just knew I would never again hear her voice or experience her touch. As I stood in front of the closed casket, I couldn't believe my mother was in there. The only evidence of that was the self-portrait Renee had painted on an easel amidst what seemed like hundreds of flowers.

Bereft and unable to contain the emotions welling up from deep within my soul, I flung my tiny body onto the sleek mahogany box. I wasn't sure if I just wanted to seek definitive evidence that it was my mother in there, or if my intentions were to bring her back somehow. I just wanted to be close to her again.

Charlie was practically catatonic, and it didn't even register to him that I might need comforting. In my raw and crippling grief, I could have quickly become inconsolable had it not been for Edward's decisive action. He had boldly come to comfort me, wound his little arms around my trembling body, and allowed me to sob on his shoulder.

"It's going to be all right, Bella," he soothed. "Your mom is in heaven now, and God will take care of her."

"Will God stop the cancer from hurting her now?" I asked through my tears.

"Yes," Edward said without hesitation. "Daddy Carlisle is a doctor, and he says people don't hurt anymore when they die."

Looking into those clear, green eyes, I couldn't help but believe him. The words rang particularly true from a little boy whom death had made too wise for his years.

From that day on, Edward and I became inseparable. While he'd acquired two brothers when he joined the Cullen family, I had no siblings. The Cullens had adopted Emmett and Jasper when they were toddlers. Edward was an addition that delighted his new parents, but threatened the equilibrium that his brothers, both his age, had already established in the Cullen household. Thus, I had unwittingly become Edward's best friend by both default and design.

Although I had known Jasper and Emmett for as long as I could remember, Edward and I had much more in common. Esme was thrilled when we bonded, because Emmett and Jasper were showing classic signs of sibling envy. She synchronized our schedules at school so that Edward could support me and he could adjust to his new surroundings. We were together at school all day and, due to Charlie's schedule at the police station, rode home together most days. Our play dates were so frequent they resembled an endless sleepover.

Carlisle and Esme advised Charlie early on that I probably needed counseling to adequately deal with Renee's death. Edward had been seeing a psychologist since his parents died, and the Cullens made sure it continued when they adopted him. Charlie was grateful to Esme for making sure I got the mental health care I needed. She even convinced him to go to a few sessions with Dr. Nielson as well. However, Charlie chose to grieve for Renee in the way he handled most things—in solitary fashion and in his own good time.

I don't recall exactly when Edward began to exhibit signs of separation anxiety when we were apart, but as the years wore on, a pattern evolved. On the rare occasion either of us missed a day of school, there was always a quick reunion. When I was sick, Esme always insisted on taking care of me so Charlie could go to work. Though we never viewed our closeness as "co-dependence," as we got older our classmates teased us relentlessly.

"Super glue and shadow, too," they'd say. However, Edward and I didn't care, because we were best friends and we liked it like that.

One time, Charlie and I were both home sick with the flu, and Esme brought us food and medicine. I overheard her telling Charlie how distraught Edward was.

"I've got a little boy at home almost as sick and you and Bella, but not from the flu."

"Is that right? I suppose he's missing Bells more than anything," Charlie chuckled. Esme was always able to coax more words from Charlie than anyone else, besides me.

"Sometimes Carlisle and I forget, but Dr. Nielson told us that even common illnesses might trigger him to panic. It's been three years since he lost his parents, but when someone he loves gets sick, he gets extremely anxious."

"You think he'll be all right if I let Bella call him?"

"That would be great, Charlie."

After Esme left, our fevers spiked and we were barely functioning enough to make sure we took care of ourselves. The phone rang, but in our feverish hazes, we ignored it.

Later I would learn that after three days of my not attending school, Edward asked Esme if he could come and take care of me. Esme assured him that Charlie was more than capable, and it probably wasn't a good idea because we might be contagious. Undeterred, Edward devised a plan. After Esme dropped him and his brothers off at school, he told Jasper where he was going and set off on foot for my house.

When I woke up mid-morning, Edward was sitting in my desk chair, waiting patiently for my eyes to open.

"Hey," I said, very pleased to see him. "Did Esme drop you off?"

"No," he said shyly, shifting in his seat. Then he stood.

"How did you get in here?" I asked.

"The window," he answered. "I climbed the tree outside."

"Edward, that's really dangerous. Next time use the key in the purple flowerpot by the front door. You know the one we painted in second grade?"

"Okay," he said as he approached my bed. "Are you gonna be all right?"

"I think so. Your dad came over yesterday and gave us stronger medicine."

Edward then smiled the biggest and brightest smile he could produce and proceeded to take care of me. He brought me juice and while I showered and changed pajamas, he went back to the kitchen to make us lunch.

Charlie heard the voices and movement and came in to check on us.

He grunted a "hello" to Edward and then turned his attention to me. "You need anything, Bells?"

"No thanks, Dad. Edward just made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"I could make you one, too, Chief Swan," Edward offered eagerly.

"Thanks, Edward, but I think I'll hold out for one of your mother's casseroles."

Charlie's eyebrows knit together and then smoothed out as if something had finally occurred to him. "Shouldn't you be in school, son?"

I diverted Charlie's attention from that line of questioning with a request. "May I have some Tylenol, Dad? I think my fever might be going up again."

Charlie got lost in his role as parental caregiver, and to be honest he was still so weak he didn't hover. He left Edward and me to our own devices.

When Esme found out what Edward had done, she was furious.

"Don't ever do that again, Edward," she warned. "You could've been hit by a logging truck, or taken from us. Promise me."

"Promise me you'll take me to see Bella when she's sick," he countered.

Esme was so relieved that he was okay, she agreed.

After that incident, Esme, Carlisle and Edward's therapist, Dr. Nielson, had a conference and decided Esme should invite other kids over sometimes when I came for my play dates with Edward. Even Emmett and Jasper, who were very close, spent time with other kids. Edward and I never did, particularly due to Charlie's work schedule. We weren't happy about this arrangement at first, but eventually accepted it, and I honestly grew to like Angela and Alice.

Another time, Angela invited me to a weeklong camp sponsored by her church, and I really wanted to go because it was an event for Tweens. Considering everything that was going on with our bodies, Alice, Angela, and I were inclined to go. Besides, Angela's youth leader, Heidi, was a college girl and super-cool. We thought it would be an awesome experience since we each had questions we would prefer to ask someone closer to our age.

This event created a problem because it fell within the two weeks the Cullens would be on vacation in Canada. Usually, it was a foregone conclusion that I would go with them because Esme was always insistent and Charlie could never refuse her. When I indicated that I wanted to bow out and go to the camp, Edward almost had a meltdown.

"What do you mean you're not going with us?" he exploded.

"Angela, Alice and I thought it would be a good idea to go to this camp and have some girl bonding time."

Edward looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. "Girl bonding time? But you always go on vacation with us."

"Yeah—which is why I should probably do something different—give you guys some family time."

"How can a lousy camp compare to a trip to Canada?" He insisted, his voice rising. "We don't need any family time, and you've already bonded with Angela and Alice."

My voice and my irritation raised several notches to match his. "You're not the boss of me, Edward. And you certainly can't tell me what I need."

"Well, I know what I need," he yelled. "You can't do this—you can't just—you have to go with us!"

Esme dashed into the room. "Hey—I can hear you two yelling all the way upstairs. What's going on?"

Tears threatened to drop from his angry eyes. I stood toe to toe with him, my fists clenched in consternation.

"I'm waiting," Esme said, her arms folded and tapping her foot impatiently.

Then I saw Edward's eyes soften, pleading with me, and I could not disappoint him.

"I was considering not going to Canada with you guys, but I guess I'll still go," I mumbled.

Relief poured off Edward, and he smiled hesitantly.

"What were you going to do instead?" Esme asked. "I know you aren't planning on going fishing with Charlie and Harry Clearwater."

"No, Angela invited Alice and me to a camp with her church youth group."

"That sounds like fun," Esme said. "Are you sure you don't want to go?"

"Mom, she said she didn't," Edward snapped. Esme glared and his voice got softer. "Why can't we just—drop it?"

Esme wouldn't give in to him as quickly as I did. "Only if that's what Bella wants to do."

"It's okay. I can go some other time," I said.

Maybe I should have pushed it and allowed Esme to see just how obsessed Edward was with me then and things might not have played out the way they did, but we were children. Albeit, children who had gone through a lot together. Far be it from me to be the one to out Edward when I needed him just as much as he needed me then. Other friends would always play second to our devotion to each other. It was our unspoken pact.

Beyond our shared experience of death, and Edward's irrational fear that it could happen to anyone he cared about, we bonded through the years over books, his music, my art, and a friendship forged over a series of excruciating losses. Our favorite books were fantasies beginning with the Dinotopia series, which Esme had given us for Christmas the year Renee died.

We immersed ourselves in the fantasylands of humans and supernatural creatures living in peaceful coexistence and loved acting out scenes from the books, often drafting Jasper and Emmett into our productions as well. Together, we drew and painted elaborate sets that brought our fantasy worlds to life. We took our shared love of books very seriously.

We shared many books together until the summer of 2005. The last one Esme bought us was _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince._ I remember it like yesterday because it marked the time our relationship changed. She took us to the Borders in Port Angeles the day of the book's release, and we were a few chapters in before we got back to the Cullen house.

Over the next couple of days we had an intensive Harry Potter read-a-thon, only stopping to eat and take bathroom breaks. Esme or Carlisle would check on us every hour or so, because we were holed up in Edward's room for the duration. Little did we know, our discussion over Snape's betrayal was like a foreshadowing for our future relationship.

"I knew Snape was a traitor. He only pretended to be a loyal member of the Order of the Phoenix to help his Death Eater friends and prove his allegiance to Lord Voldemort." We were sitting in the middle of Edward's bed in lotus positions facing one another, having just finished reading the book. I was indignant in my support of Harry's point of view.

"I'm not so sure. Snape could have taken Harry out, but he didn't even when Bellatrix dared him to." Edward couldn't help but chuckle when he said that character's name again. From the introduction of that character, he had teased me _ad nauseum_, calling me Bellatrix whenever he was in a playful mood.

I ignored his jibe and continued, "Why else would he follow through on the unbreakable vow and actually kill Dumbledore who trusted him so implicitly? It's the ultimate act of betrayal in my opinion."

"Dumbledore trusted Snape with his life. As Headmaster of Hogwarts, he felt he had to sacrifice his own peace and happiness for the greater good. Dumbledore wanted Snape to protect his cover even if it meant he had to die," Edward insisted.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "So, you would hurt someone who loved and trusted you in that way?"

Edward was pragmatic in his role as devil's advocate. "Sometimes it's necessary to protect those you love."

"What does that even mean?"

"Things can happen that make someone not tell the entire truth to spare another person pain."

"Um, example please, Mr. Philosopher."

Edward's face grew very serious. "Carlisle and Esme kept some details about what happened to my parents' a secret until recently."

"What details?" I asked softly.

Edward looked down, but not before I saw the sadness in his eyes. "Like—my father had been drinking when they died."

I couldn't bear seeing him that way. I scooted close to him so our knees were touching and threw my arms around him. "I'm so sorry, Edward. They must have had a good reason to wait until now to tell you."

"Yeah," he muttered. " Now that I'm older, they wanted me to know all about my gene pool, I guess."

I pulled away to look into his eyes again. "Charlie's given me 'the drinking and drugs talk' at least a half a dozen times. We're teenagers, so we'll both be in situations where friends will encourage us to do things we shouldn't. It was time for you to know."

"Yeah. It was just a surprise. All this time I—I'd seen them as—as victims, only to learn that my father killed them." Edward was angry now. So angry he was trembling.

I rubbed my hands up and down both his arms hoping to calm him. "It was still an accident, Edward. And if your Dad had a drinking problem, he was sick."

"Then he shouldn't have gotten behind the wheel of a car. Grownups tell us this stuff all the time, but they don't even follow their own rules."

"It's called being human. The drinking impaired his judgment, and your Dad made a mistake."

"Yeah, a mistake that took them both away from me. I don't know if I can ever forgive him for that, Bella." His voice cracked, and it almost broke my heart.

I blamed Hermione, Ron, Harry and Ginny for what happened next. Their blossoming romances still fresh in my mind, I kissed my best friend. It was not just a kiss on the cheek or forehead for comfort either. Surprised by my forwardness for a second, Edward eventually recovered and kissed me back.

I had wondered a few times what it would be like to kiss a boy. Given the fact that I didn't know any other boy as well as I knew Edward, I figured him being my first kiss was appropriate. Neither of us was prepared for what it would do to us, or how it would change our relationship.

With no frame of reference and without the faintest clue how, I just puckered up and pressed my lips softly to his. At that moment, it was as if all feeling and sound magnified. I could hear our hearts pounding wildly in our chests as our lips connected.

We separated, briefly, but then his arms went around me, and I embraced him as well. We kissed a second time, our lips parting without a thought as we tentatively tried French kissing. I felt a sense of euphoria that I'd never experienced before. Suddenly, it was like something possessed both of us, and we were sucking face like pros in the middle of Edward's bed, our books and previous conversation forgotten.

So lost were we in our newfound hobby, we didn't hear Dr. Cullen when he entered the room until a throat cleared, and our lips unlocked with a smack as we both looked up to see him standing in the doorway with a stern look on his face; then it contorted into a lopsided grin. "Celebrating the end of the book, I take it?"

"Dad!"

"Dr. Cullen!" we said in unison, and then I let Edward speak because I was mortified, and blushing like the schoolgirl I was. Edward was the opposite, pale as a sheet and stammering.

"B-Bella was...I was...We just finished the book, and we were discussing it, and one thing led to another..."

I came to my senses and tried to save him. "Yeah, there was a lot of _snogging_ in this one, so it was like a subliminal message or something..."

_Great! I was too embarrassed even to use the word "kissing."_

"It's okay. I understand. You two have been friends since you were seven. I was wondering when the hormones would kick in. It's only natural to be curious." Dr. Cullen couldn't seem to stop smiling. Esme came in a second later, catching the end of the conversation.

"How much hormonal curiosity are we talking about here?" she asked.

"Just a little making out, dear. Nothing to worry about," Carlisle said.

"Aww, Dad..." Edward groaned.

"It was just a few kisses," I protested weakly.

Esme laughed, delighting in our discomfort. "If it was more than three, you were making out."

I picked up my book and scrambled off Edward's bed. "You can all stand around and discuss whether our first kiss qualifies as making out, but I'm going to bed." Then I stood as tall and straight as I could and walked between Carlisle and Esme to the guest room down the hall where I usually slept.

When I woke up, I was afraid to face the Cullens, and I didn't know how I was going to act around Edward anymore. We couldn't uncross that line, and I hoped he wasn't too weirded-out by it. I would die if my impulsive hormonal curiosity had ruined our friendship. My inner debate about leaving the room, exacerbated by my growling stomach, found relief by a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I asked. If it was Edward, I'd either be forced to make some excuse to send him away or go out to be with him and the rest of the family. I still wasn't ready to face him alone.

"It's Esme, sweetheart," she called through the door. "May I come in?"

I smoothed my hair and sat up on the side of the bed. "Y-yes, sure."

Esme pushed the door open, and I looked up hesitantly as she entered, clutching a scrapbook close to her chest. She closed the door and leaned against it.

"Are you okay?" She asked with a smile, keeping eye contact as she moved toward me.

"Um…yeah, I guess."

Esme giggled and then whispered conspiratorially, "Just so you know, Edward is freaking out, too."

"Really?" It was such a relief to know that I wasn't the only one.

She came and sat down beside me on the bed. I should have known that she would have my back and be ready with the motherly advice. Esme was there when Charlie was emotionally unavailable and clueless as to how to take care of a little girl. She even helped me buy my clothes until I felt like I was ready to take on that responsibility myself and also taught me how to take care of my skin and hair.

Over the years she had been a stand-in when I needed someone to attend functions at school while Charlie was working. The lone female in my testosterone-riddled world, Esme had been the one to prepare me for becoming a young woman. After losing Renee, she had seen me through all the milestones of my young life, and I loved her for it.

"My son obsesses over things. Haven't you noticed?"

I snorted. "Yeah, he's worse than I am. But don't tell him I said that."

"Your secret's safe with me," Esme said with a sigh, then lowered the book into her lap. I was drawn to the colorful writing on the cover.

"What's this?" I gestured to the book.

"Memories," she said simply. "Renee and I began making these when we were in sixth grade and finished them when we were seniors at Forks High. Her copy is probably in the attic somewhere at your house. I just thought you might want to see what we were like as young women."

I was always eager for information about my mother. Both Charlie and Esme had told me things they remembered about Renee, and I'd seen other photographs in our family albums, but this was the first time I would get a glimpse of her through Esme's eyes when they were both teenagers.

She opened the book, and we read the pages and looked at all the pictures together.

"You had your first kiss when you were in eighth grade?" There was a Polaroid of Esme on the page and several yellowed pictures of her and a rather dorky, but sweet-looking, boy.

"Yeah, I was a late bloomer," she said matter-of-factly.

"That's not Carlisle," I observed. "But that guy looked—nice ."

"No, that was Chuck Evenson. And he wasn't _nice_." Esme shuddered. "It took me three years in a doomed marriage right out of high school to figure that out."

"I thought you and Carlisle were married around the same time as Mom and Dad."

"No, your mother made the better choice early on, despite being a later bloomer. She was in tenth grade when she had her first kiss, and that boy was Charlie Swan." Esme turned a few more pages and showed me a picture of Renee, Charlie, and Carlisle as tenth graders. Renee was sandwiched between them, and they were each kissing one of her cheeks.

"Wow! Mom was so pretty." It was weird to see how I was beginning to look more and more like her, even though I had Charlie's coloring.

"Yes, she was," Esme agreed. "And she passed her beauty on to you."

I wasn't so sure, but I wouldn't argue with Esme about it. I would not win.

"So, Carlisle wasn't even on your radar then? He was very cute, Esme. How did you end up with that Evenson guy?"

"Carlisle was very much on my radar. However, he was an even later bloomer than your mother and me in some respects. He was serious and knew exactly where he wanted to go to school and what he wanted to do with his life. I had a huge crush on him, but he never made a move. Chuck was persistent and eventually wore me down."

"What happened?"

Esme swallowed and gave me a tremulous smile. "That's a story for another day, maybe when you're older." I didn't push her about it. I could tell from her demeanor, she had some bad memories of the guy.

"How did you and Carlisle finally get together?"

"When he finished at Harvard medical he did his residency in Seattle. I got a job with an Interior Design firm there after finally finishing college. Renee and Charlie had kept up with both of us and, and tried to set us up, but I refused. My marriage experience had been awful, so I was embarrassed, and a bit afraid to put myself out there again. At one point I went to see a client who happened to be Carlisle's boss at the hospital, and he was there. We went out to dinner and stayed out late that night catching up. When he dropped me off at my door, he kissed me soundly and said, 'I'm not going to let you get away from me a second time, Esme Platt.'"

"Way to go, Carlisle."

"We hated that we allowed his shyness and my pride to keep us apart all those years."

"You've more than made up for it now. Edward and I don't have any classmates whose parents are as much in love as you and Carlisle."

"Is that so?" she asked, tweaking my nose playfully.

I giggled. "Yeah, you two are really heavy on the PDA."

She rolled her eyes. "The boys have told us this many times."

"I think it's nice," I said sincerely. I had a completely new appreciation for PDA now that Edward and I had taken that leap.

Esme flipped another page, and these were pictures of her and Renee at what looked to be their senior prom.

"Look at that big hair and those dresses!"

"It was the style of our time," Esme said. "Your mother and I were hotties back then."

"You're still a hottie. You're Carlisle's hottie."

"That I am," she agreed.

"_Always and Forever—_was that your prom theme?"

"Yes and also your mother's favorite song of all time," Esme said introspectively. "Years later, it was her and Charlie's wedding song, too."

"I've seen the video, and I think I remember that song!"

"She wore that record out."

"Record?"

"Vinyl record. Oh my God, I forget you kids were born in the CD era."

"Yeah, but I love oldies. I'll see if I can find the song on iTunes. It'll be nice to hear my mom's favorite song as much as I want." As I said that, my traitorous stomach growled, loudly.

Esme looked levelly at me with a knowing smile. "You must be starving. You and Edward missed my famous blueberry pancakes, but we can find you something to hold you over until dinner. Carlisle is grilling steaks."

"Edward didn't eat breakfast, either?"

"No, he's only been up for about an hour, and most of that time he's been agonizing over the…er…incident this morning."

My cheeks grew warm, but I managed to mutter a soft, "Oh."

"It's okay for you two to explore romantic feelings at your age. I've never told another soul this secret, but Renee and I always dreamed of having our children fall in love one day and make us in-laws."

I cringed. "Seriously? Edward might not even like me like that. Anyway, I kissed him," I admitted, looking at her out of the corner of my eye to get her reaction.

"Oh." It was Esme's turn to be at a loss for words. However, she didn't seem to be fazed by my revelation, but simply grinned, closed the book, and stood up. "Well, maybe I need to be having this conversation with Edward, then."

"No!" I said quickly, grabbing her around the waist and hugging her tight. "What is he saying? Is he regretting that I kissed him?"

She placed her hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "Not at all. He's just a little worried that you might."

"I don't regret it at all. I just don't want to lose our friendship over a stupid kiss."

Esme kissed the top of my head, and then pulled me up. "I think Edward feels the same way. Now come on, let's go get you two something to eat."

It was more than a week later before Edward and I got up the courage for a repeat performance, and we became as official as two thirteen-year-olds could. Essentially, we were girlfriend and boyfriend, and Esme and Carlisle thought we were cute. However, they advised us that if we were sure about our newfound relationship status, we needed to let Charlie know what was going on. Edward and I were both terrified, but Edward gathered the courage to man-up and tell Charlie we were dating.

Esme and Carlisle assured him that they wouldn't let anything happen that he wouldn't approve of. For good measure, Charlie cleaned his guns menacingly the next time Edward came over, and Edward almost swallowed his Adam's apple that day. I scolded Charlie thoroughly after he left.

"Dad, Edward isn't just some boy I'm bringing home to meet you for the first time. We've known each other forever, and he's the son of the godparents you chose for me, for goodness' sake!"

"I'm well aware of that, Bells. Esme and Carlisle are doing a good job of raising him, too. Fact is, I've always liked Edward. He was there for you when we lost Renee and I—I wasn't. Just making sure his hormones don't make him forget you're my baby girl."

"All the more reason you should've cut him some slack."

"That was slack. Anyone else would've gotten the full-fledged _scared straight_ treatment, complete with a trip to the police station."

"Ugh! I can't believe you would even consider..." I trailed off, realizing it was hopeless to argue further. My dad was exasperating, but it was good to know that I could count on him to protect me, even in affairs of the heart.

By the end of the summer, Edward and I were doing all the same things together we had always done. We just kissed sometimes when we did them, and it was a blissful time. I found _Always and Forever_ on iTunes and listened to it all the time, thinking of it as Edward's and my song, although he was unaware of it - or so I thought.

We often exchanged and listened to each other's iPods while we were hanging out together, and one Saturday, he heard the song for the first time.

"Who's this?" he asked after hearing it through.

"That's Heatwave."

"They have a pure retro sound."

"That's because they are retro. Late seventies."

"How'd you find them?"

"Esme."

"My Mom?"

"You didn't know she was so cool, did you?" I teased.

"It's just not what she listens to now."

"She probably doesn't listen to it anymore because it was Renee's all-time favorite song. It was also their senior prom theme, and Charlie and Renee's wedding song."

"I like it," he said seriously, nodding his head as if he'd just figured something out. "Can I have a copy?"

A couple of days later, Edward played it for me on his piano. It was one of the sweetest things he'd ever done for me, second only to the day we became friends at Renee's funeral.

Our relationship had changed, we believed, irrevocably; for a very brief period, we thought we would grow up together and eventually be together forever. We were so young and naive. Who really finds their soulmate at seven? Life was capricious and anxious to show us just how fragile our tenuous control actually was.

Later that summer, Carlisle accepted a job in California. He might have turned it down were it comparable to the position he already held, but it was the kind of job he'd always hoped to land since he'd gone to Harvard Medical School.

I was eating dinner with them on the Sunday afternoon when he explained to the family just how great an opportunity it was.

"I could make in one year what I would need to send one of you boys all the way through college. With what I currently earn, it would have been tight sending you all to college at once. This will make it infinitely easier," he gushed. "Not to mention the state-of-the-art facility I'll be working in. The experience I'll gain there will be invaluable."

Esme watched for the reactions of her children as Carlisle completed his justification. She didn't seem to be particularly happy about it, but she supported Carlisle. Emmett and Jasper seemed to take it all in stride.

"Hello surfing and sunshine. Goodbye rainy Forks," Emmett said excitedly and bumped fists with Jasper.

Edward looked crestfallen, and I'm sure I mirrored his reaction. My throat felt like it was closing up, but I held back the tears. I needed to be strong for Edward. If I lost it, he would not take it well, in his usual obsessively overprotective manner.

Jasper and Emmett continued to chatter on about how neat it would be to move to sunny California while Edward and I were dying inside. Our unhappiness was not lost on Carlisle or Esme.

"I know it's going to be difficult to leave our good friends here, but we'll come back to visit," Carlisle promised.

"We can't leave Bella," Edward protested, looking anxiously from Carlisle to Esme with pleading eyes. "You've always said she and Charlie are like family. How can we leave our family behind?"

"Charlie has a job here, sweetheart," Esme said calmly. "And Bella is all he has left. It wouldn't be fair for us to take her away from him. I'm sure Charlie will let her visit in the summers."

"And we're keeping the house here to make it easier when we come back to Forks to visit. I'm sure we'll be back for Christmas," Carlisle said with a forced smile.

I took Edward's hand under the table, and he looked dejectedly at me as I mustered a smile, which I hoped was believable, even though my heart was splintering. "Christmas will be here before we know it."

"It won't be the same!" Edward insisted. Jerking his hand free, he pushed away from the table and angrily left the room.

Esme and I stood at the same time conceivably to go after him, but Carlisle gestured for us to sit back down.

"I'll go talk to him," he said as he quickly exited the room.

As much as I wanted to be happy for Carlisle, I was losing my best friend and sadness overwhelmed me. In the weeks leading up to their big move, Edward and I were together every day, trying to squeeze as much time as we could into the precious few days we had left.

He tried with all his might not to show it, but Edward took the move as another unbearable loss in his life. I could feel something shifting in him just before he left that would grow into the inconceivable: complete estrangement. As children, we didn't know how to deal with what was happening, so we just accepted it because we didn't have a choice. Resisting would have been an exercise in futility.

I slept over at the Cullens' the night before the move. Edward and I stayed up as late as we were allowed, hoping to spend every last waking second together. We were in the sitting room at the piano, and at my request, Edward played all my favorite pieces since I wouldn't have the opportunity to hear him play again for a long while. The rest of the family had retired to other parts of the house, sensitively giving us some time alone.

Edward had asked for a portrait I had painted of us from a photo Esme had taken earlier in the summer. Sentimentally, I wrapped it and presented it to him after dinner earlier that night.

I'd considered his playing for me as my going away gift, with the final piece being "Always and Forever." This time he sang the words. My eyes misted, but I held myself together. He then took me totally by surprise when he presented me with a long narrow box, which obviously contained jewelry.

He gave me a crooked smile. "Mom took me to get this. It's just a little something to remember me by."

"As if I need a reminder," I quipped, fingering the box inquisitively. "I could never forget you, Edward."

"That's good to know." His grin widened. He looked almost normal then, as if the shroud of his impending departure was not hanging over our heads. "Open it."

I slid the ribbon off the box and lifted the cover. Inside was an exquisite gold locket. When I opened it, I found a tiny picture of Renee and Charlie on one side and a picture of Esme and Carlisle on the other with an engraving on the back.

Our Legacy

_"Always and Forever"_

_I.M.S. & E.A.C. _

_2005_

I could no longer stay strong for Edward; the dam of tears I had held for weeks finally broke, and I wept in his arms. My tears were for the bittersweet way we had bonded when we were seven and healed each other of the pain of losing our parents and for all the years we shared as friends. They were also for the realization that he would be leaving for California the very next day, and we wouldn't see each other again until at least Christmas.

"Shhh," he whispered in my ear. "Please don't cry, Bella. We'll keep in touch. I promise."

"Okay," I said through a teary, husky voice. "You're right." I forced a smile and then saw the wet stain I'd left on his t-shirt. "Sorry I got your shirt wet."

"It's no big deal," he said, standing and pulling me up from the piano bench, and then taking the locket. "Come here."

I stood and turned my back. When he'd fastened the clasp, he took my shoulders and turned me around to face him again.

"Perfect." He beamed as he took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen.

"I know what'll make you feel better. Mom has some of that dull ice cream you like so much."

I sniffed. "Black walnut?"

"Yeah, I'll dish some up for us."

After awhile, the rest of the Cullens all came back downstairs and we watched a movie together. Then we helped Carlisle and Esme cover the furniture they were leaving in the house, and we all went to bed. Their boxes were packed and stacked in the garage waiting for the moving company to pick everything up in the morning.

I tossed and turned, unable to sleep for more than an hour. Finally, I gave up and texted Edward. This went on for about twenty minutes until he decided it was silly for us to be right down the hall from one another and not be able to talk face-to-face. Within a few seconds, he was in the guest room with me, wearing a pair of regulation pajamas. I was wearing something similar, so it wasn't awkward. We decided it would be best not to turn on the radio or television, since we didn't want to wake everybody else up, so we sat on the floor and played cards.

After a few games we rested our backs against the foot of the bed and talked.

"One day when we're old enough, I'll be coming back to get you for good, Bella," he said seriously. "I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle being away from you for so long."

"We'll manage," I said, trying to be upbeat.

"We'll do more than manage," he said anxiously. "Promise me."

"I promise," I said. Edward was looking into my eyes with such sincerity and all the love his thirteen-year-old heart could muster. When he cupped my cheek, I knew he was going to kiss me, and that made the ache of my impending loss go away for a while.

Edward's sweet kisses had me tingling all over but, finally, I became exhausted and couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

"You're tired," Edward murmured. "You should go to bed."

Without protesting, I climbed up on the bed not even bothering to throw back the covers. Edward stood to leave.

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" I whispered.

He just smiled and slid onto the bed with me, and we cuddled, presumably until I drifted off.

Esme woke us the next morning. Edward and I were both red-faced and embarrassed.

"Tell me that all you did was sleep in here," Esme implored.

"Mom…"

"Esme…"

"Good. Now Edward, go. Get dressed and ready for breakfast before Charlie gets here. You do remember he carries a gun?"

Edward looked at his mother as if she'd lost her mind and shuffled out the door.

"Dad wouldn't shoot Edward for just sleeping in the same room with me. You know that, right?"

"Yes, but it won't hurt for my son to think he might. It'll keep him respectful of your virtue." Esme began stripping the bed, and I moved in to help her.

"We're too young to have to worry about my virtue right now."

"I'm glad you think so," she said with a smirk.

Charlie was in the Cullen kitchen when I went down. Esme had served him a big breakfast, and he was in chow-down heaven.

"Morning," I mumbled and took a seat next to Edward who was having a hard time eating his breakfast. If the lump in my throat was any indication, I could understand why he couldn't swallow anything but juice.

Jasper and Emmett weren't having any problem eating at all. They were so excited they were practically vibrating.

We made short work of getting all the remaining items packed, and when the movers arrived, they quickly filled the truck and headed out, towing Carlisle's Mercedes behind them. Esme had everything planned down to the last detail, with the family driving to Los Angeles in her Escalade. Finally, they gave Charlie the keys to the house so he could check on it, air it out, and have it cleaned every once in a while.

Edward and I escaped to his room to kiss goodbye, and then Edward carried my overnight bag down.

Carlisle was holding Esme as she was saying goodbye to the home she had decorated and made their own for twelve years. Charlie stood off to the side, looking rather sheepish, so I walked over to him and took his hand. We all joined Emmett and Jasper outside who were already in the SUV as if they couldn't wait to get on the road.

We shared hugs all around. Esme even made Jasper and Emmett get out of the car to say a proper goodbye. Everyone loaded in except Edward. He hugged me again as if reluctant to let go, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I'll text you from the road and call you when we get there, okay?" he said, his voice distorted with emotion.

"Okay," I said, losing the battle with my tears again. Edward pulled away and walked toward the car.

"Aren't you gonna kiss her goodbye, son?" Charlie asked innocently.

Edward didn't hesitate or question it. He quickly ran over and before I knew it, we were kissing. It was a Dad-approved, chaste kiss but we packed as much feeling into it as we could.

"Always and forever, Bella," he said as he pulled away.

I touched my locket as he walked over and got into the car. I might have collapsed if Charlie hadn't had the foresight to put his arm around me for support as I watched the Cullens drive away to their new life.

Always and forever," I whispered as the brake lights disappeared around the bend.

**~vMv~**

E/N: If you were one of the 115 people who read the original one shot and reviewed, please review now and let me know what you think about the direction in which this WIP is going. This is, in fact, your story, because you all overwhelmingly asked that it be continued. Therefore, I'm curious to know if you're pleased with its direction. In addition, if you're neutral or not ready to commit one way or another, please leave a review anyway, so I can see that you're still with me. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 2 Always & Forever

**A/N: As always, thank to my lovely betas SSHG316, SavageWoman and Irritable Grizzzly for making me look like I know what I'm doing.**

**Thanks also to my Fictionista group for pre-reading and offering me invaluable advice. You know who you are!**

**Warning: Because of the stories influencing this work (Ever After & She's All That), I'm sure we all realize that there will be a little angst and hardship before the happily ever after, but there will be a happily ever after. If stories that delve into matters of mental health adversely affect or offend you, you might want to skip this chapter.**

**ALWAYS AND FOREVER **

**By belli486**

**"'There is a child in all of us,' a child in touch with a truth deeper than the logic of tragedy." **

— _**Frederick Beuchner and Doug Thorpe**_

**Chapter 2 – Always & Forever**

**BPOV**

I had spent so much time that summer with the Cullens that I was blindsided when I found out Charlie had been seriously dating Irina Gentry of Port Angeles. I was oddly happy for him—that is, until I actually met the Gentry family.

Irina was tall, thin, and very cold, but she dressed extremely well. She carried herself like someone who had means once upon a time and who believed the caste system was still alive and well. The only time she ever seemed like she was human was when she was with Charlie. He somehow brought out her softer side.

Irina's daughters, Tanya and Kate, were my age and fraternal twins. I tried to befriend them. I was even willing to overlook their disdain for anything that wasn't a name-brand if it would make Charlie happy. However, they made it clear from our first meeting that this would never happen.

Kate, the dark-haired one most like her mother, found me in the kitchen where I was busy trying to finish up dinner. I'd called Esme, and she'd given me her recipe for lasagna.

"Stella," Kate said, her patrician nose turned up. Did she think it was the dinner or me that smelled bad?

"It's Bella," I corrected her. "Can I get you something? Kate, right?"

"Actually, yes. I'd like some water."

I got a glass from the cupboard and went to the fridge to get the pitcher of filtered water.

As I filled her glass she said, "What are you doing?" She had this horrified look on her face. "Don't you have bottled water?"

"No, we filter the tap water," I explained. "It tastes just as good," I assured her, but she wasn't having any of it, gagging dramatically as if I was forcing it down her throat.

"The very idea! It makes me want to throw up," she said and then turned on her heel and left me literally holding the glass.

"Suit yourself," I said to her retreating form and downed it myself.

A few minutes later, the strawberry blonde entered the kitchen.

"Hi, Tanya," I said. "The lasagna should be ready in about five minutes. Would you like a drink? I think we have some soda in the fridge."

"You don't have Snapple?" she asked, almost accusingly.

"No," I said apologetically. "But I could make some lemonade."

"No doubt with that awful tap water you and your blue-collar father drink," she said cattily. Her sister had wasted no time filling her in on our shortcomings in the beverage department. To say that the Gentry girls were pampered was an understatement. In my humble opinion, they were spoiled rotten, but regardless, no one talked about my father that way and got away with it.

"My dad may be what you consider 'blue-collar,' but apparently, your social-climbing mother loves him, so I suggest you get used to it." As if on cue, the buzzer on the stove went off.

Tanya stood there gape-mouthed and sputtered, but no intelligible words came out.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to serve our dinner," I said and turned away.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Conversation was stilted. Kate and Tanya followed their mother's lead and picked over their food like it was distasteful to them. Charlie and I ate a healthy portion, because Esme Cullen's lasagna was even better than Bella Italia's.

Charlie finished first and smiled at me. "That was great, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad."

Charlie looked at Irina's plate. "The Gentrys don't like Italian?" he asked.

"Oh no, it's not that," Irina said with a tight smile. "This is just rather rich. I make a much lighter version for the girls and me."

"Uh-huh," Charlie grunted. "You should have mentioned it. I'm sure Bella would've adjusted the recipe to your liking.

"Yeah," I agreed. "I also like the vegetarian version better."

"But this is really quite delicious, Bella," Irina said. "Isn't it, girls?"

Kate mumbled something, and Tanya rolled her eyes.

The rudeness wasn't lost on Charlie. He cleared his throat. "The way I was raised and the way I raised Bella is to be thankful when someone feeds you a meal. Now whether you like it or not, the polite thing to do would be to show your appreciation to the cook."

_Charlie was my hero._

"Oh, Charles," Irina crooned. "The girls _are_ thankful." Then she gave Tanya and Kate a look that cut through them like a laser beam, and their demeanors quickly changed.

"Thank you, Bella," Kate said, her voice dripping sugar.

Tanya plastered on her own saccharine smile. "Thank you both for having us over."

"That's more like it." Charlie smiled and patted Irina's hand. "We have a chocolate cake for dessert that Bella made yesterday."

On that note, I wiped my mouth and stood to go retrieve the cake that I was sure, once again, only Charlie and I would eat since it would be too "rich" for their delicate stomachs.

"Girls, help Bella serve the dessert," Irina suggested, as she put on a sexy smile for Charlie, effectively dismissing us to get some alone-time with him.

It was my turn to roll my eyes. I would rather do it alone than have the spoiled "Mean Girl" twins reluctantly helping me.

They followed me unenthusiastically into the kitchen. When we were all inside, Tanya closed the door and stood with her back against it, while Kate had her arms folded, eyeing me with as much venom as she could muster.

"Let's get something straight, Cruella," she hissed. "We will never be your BFFs and certainly not your sisters."

"Yeah," Tanya chimed in. "Our mother will be over this infatuation when she realizes what a common dolt your father is."

"When our daddy comes to his senses and dumps that secretary he left my mother for, we'll go back to living in Seattle in the manner in which we have become accustomed," Kate added. "In the mean time, stay the fuck out of our way."

I didn't know if it was the fact that she used such a strong four-letter word when we were barely thirteen that stunned me into silence or if I felt extremely sorry for them and their broken home, but I chose not to say anything and just went about gathering the dessert plates and forks.

Apparently they were not happy that their mother was dating again. I knew a little something about the pain of losing a parent, both to death and to grief. Even though their father didn't die, he probably didn't pay them any attention, so it might as well have been that he wasn't there. However, I wasn't mean enough to throw that bit of reality into their faces.

"Nothing would make me happier," I gritted. "Here." I handed Tanya a stack of plates, and Kate a handful of forks. "I think your mom and my dad are waiting for their cake."

**~vMv~**

If I thought the first few months without Edward had been hard, I was not prepared for what was to come. Christmas was only a week away, and it didn't look as if the Cullens would be keeping their promise to come home for the holidays. I hadn't heard from Edward for weeks. After my phone calls and texts had gone unanswered, I began calling Esme and Carlisle. They made flimsy excuses at first.

_Edward's taking very difficult college prep classes. I'm sure he'll call when he can._

_Edward can't come to the phone right now—he's at a school function. _

_Edward's with a study group working on a project. Do you want to leave him a message? _

Then after a few weeks of me continuing to press them about Edward, Esme finally told me what I thought was the truth.

"Edward just needs more time to adjust to his new surroundings, Bella. I'm sure he'll call when he can. I'm also afraid Carlisle's job is going to make it impossible for us to come home this Christmas. Spring break might be a better time to shoot for."

While I'm sure she was trying to reassure me, what she said broke my heart, and I retreated into my room. Esme called every day, but I refused to talk to her, and Charlie grew frustrated that I wouldn't shower, eat, or leave my bed. He brought me food and daily messages from Esme, Angela, and Alice. Finally, he got fed up and scolded me.

"Bella, baby, you're too young to be this heartbroken over a boy," Charlie admonished. "You need to get up, take a shower, and get on with your life."

"Edward's not just any boy, Dad. He was my best friend, and I've lost him," I said listlessly.

"Who says you've lost him? Esme and Carlisle says he just needs time to adjust. And well, I think you do too. Being this wrapped up in each other at this age doesn't seem to be good for either one of you."

I thought I had cried all the tears I could, but I was mistaken. I didn't want to give up on Edward, but I knew I would never recover if I didn't get a grip on my feelings. "I just miss him so much. I would be okay if he would just talk to me, but it's been weeks."

"You two are a matched pair if I've ever seen one. He's not any better off than you, I understand."

"Why do you say that?"

"I talk to Esme every day because you won't."

"Then why won't he talk to me?"

"Maybe this is the only way he can adjust to being away from you. Give it some time. I don't think Carlisle and Esme raised him to be a jerk, and they all love you. Edward will eventually call. Trust me." Charlie sighed in exasperation.

Then I really looked at him for the first time in a week and noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the lines around his eyes and mouth, and a sadness that I didn't want to be the cause of.

"It's Christmas Eve, Bells. Please celebrate the holidays with your old man. Otherwise I'll have to endure the prissy Gentry twins alone tonight."

"What about Irina?" I asked, surprised by Charlie's sudden awareness.

He grunted. "The way I see it, she helped make that bed. But when we blend our families, some things are gonna have to change."

I had been so caught up in all that wasn't happening between Edward and me, I hadn't taken time to notice just how close Charlie and Irina had become. Now they were talking marriage, and I still wasn't sure if I really liked her or not. I was certain that I didn't like her daughters, but if Irina made my dad happy, far be it from me to object to them being together. I would just have to grin and bear Kate and Tanya.

"I'm so glad you've found someone, Dad." I really was happy for Charlie, despite my crumbling relationship with Edward.

"Really, Bells? I don't want to get married again if it will be difficult for you."

"You've been alone long enough. If Irina makes you happy, marry her. I'll even make nice with the prissy twins if I have to."

Somehow, Charlie had managed to decorate for Christmas between work and taking care of a semi-catatonic lovesick daughter. The smell of fresh pine assaulted me as I went downstairs for the first time in more than a week. There were gifts under the tree from him, the Cullens, Irina and the twins, Alice and Angela. Thankfully, I had done my Christmas shopping weeks ago, and gifts for the Cullens had been mailed to Esme already, but the packages for my local friends, Charlie, and the Gentrys, were wrapped and hidden in my closet.

Charlie was happy to drive me around to make some deliveries before we left for Port Angeles. Angela and Alice were relieved to see me, and I apologized for my disappearing act. They understood, like good friends usually do.

Only one other event of that Christmas stood out in my memories. Charlie proposed to Irina right next to the Christmas tree in their living room, and she quickly accepted. Irina must have already known because she had Champagne and glasses ready, which Tanya brought out almost before Charlie could get the ring on her mother's finger. Kate had her digital camera ready and was taking copious pictures. The scene might have looked like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting had the smiles of all the subjects been real.

**~vMv~**

**EPOV**

I had to face it. I was weak. Bella was adjusting to our separation much better than I was. Don't get me wrong, I knew she missed me just as much as I missed her, but she was dealing. I was not. I had lost weight, my hair had grown out, and I refused to go to the barber to get it cut. Esme said she would cut it herself if I didn't go soon. I was like a zombie. The only time I perked up was when I talked to Bella. I didn't want her to know how bad off I really was, so I pretended to be okay so she wouldn't worry.

I had tried for weeks to be strong and accept that we wouldn't see each other in school every day. We also wouldn't hang out at each other's houses anymore. We wouldn't be reading books together, or supporting one another in our favorite hobbies. I missed the smell of her paints, and I missed having her watch me play the piano. We had been living in Bel-Air for a month, and I was still struggling miserably.

The only reason my grades weren't suffering all that much was because Carlisle and Esme had always supplemented our education and the subjects we were studying weren't that difficult.

I still hadn't made any friends, and Emmett and Jasper had long since stopped trying. My relationship with them was strained to the breaking point. I'd alienated both of them, and considering Jasper's personality, that was a really a hard thing to accomplish.

When I didn't immediately snap out of my funk over the move, Emmett teased me relentlessly. He began calling me "Edweird" or "Crazy Eddie," which only made things worse and drove an even bigger wedge between us.

Carlisle and Esme vacillated between threatening to tell Bella what was really going on and sending me to see a shrink. I threw a monster tantrum and hadn't eaten for three days. Although I was technically grounded, Esme had promised me a trip to the mall to buy Bella's birthday present if I promised to eat and go "talk" to someone. Carlisle made me an appointment with one of his colleagues, a Dr. Vivian Streeter, who asked a ton of questions, some of which I answered, and others I didn't. Who the hell did she think she was asking me things that not even my mom and dad asked? I participated only because I wanted to get done so we could buy Bella's present.

After my appointment, Esme kept her word and took me to the mall. She made sure we got something that would match the locket I had given Bella before we left. Bella loved the charm bracelet and called to thank me for it. She tried to hide it, but I could tell she missed me as much as I was missing her.

"Edward, the bracelet is so beautiful," she said. "Thank you, and thank Carlisle and Esme, too."

"You're welcome. You know I couldn't let my girl's birthday go unacknowledged." I smiled, hoping she could hear it in my voice.

She giggled. "_Your_ girl? I think I like the sound of that."

I would have given anything to actually see her face when she opened the gift and also what she looked like now when I called her "my" girl. I swallowed the lump in my throat and kept pretending everything was fine. "Good. Get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere."

"Actually, we're already several hundred miles apart," she teased.

I knew she meant it to lighten things up, but I immediately lost it.

_Man-up, Cullen!_ I yelled at myself silently. Bella could sense something was up when I didn't respond.

"Are you okay?" she said worriedly. When I still couldn't speak, she started apologizing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that literally."

Somehow I managed to sound cheerful when I said, "I know, Bella. Same here."

"I'd give up a thousand bracelets just to have you back here again," she said softly.

To keep from falling apart again, I quickly changed the subject. "Hey, did you finally meet your dad's new girlfriend?"

"Oh my God, yes! Edward you wouldn't believe how different she is from the kind of person my mom was. She's a certifiable snob, and her twin daughters are like Jessica Stanley to the fifth power or something. So much for me thinking we could be friends."

"I'm sorry. I remember how Emmett and Jasper had problems when I first came on the scene. Maybe they'll warm up to you eventually."

"Somehow, I don't see that happening. We're like night and day."

"Didn't you say Alice Brandon and Angela Weber had kind of taken you into their circle of friends?"

"Yeah, Angela is so sweet. She took pity on me the first day of school when she realized you weren't my shadow anymore and insisted I sit at the lunch table with them. Alice is like a freaking hurricane. She breezes in and takes over."

I had to hand it to her. She actually made me laugh. "I'm glad you have Alice and Angela now. Whatever you do, stay away from Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley."

"Why?"

"They're bad news—they're the reason why Jessica Stanley has a reputation."

"Thanks for the tip, but there's no boy here in Forks that I want to be close to anyway."

"So, you and Charlie going to the diner for your birthday dinner?" I teased.

"You know it. Cora has cooked for him for so long, I don't know how it would ever work if he got married again. Of course, he's invited Irina and the diva-licious Bobbsey Twins. I should stop. I sound catty."

"If you're being catty, they must be horrible. You're a really good person, and you've never been a pushover. I love that about you."

She sniffled, and my heart broke again. "I miss you so much, Edward."

"I miss you, too. But we still have Christmas to look forward to," I said quickly. I had to get off the phone before she discovered just what a wimp I was. "I've gotta go. There's a football game at school tonight. Emmett's playing."

"Okay, have fun," she said, struggling to make her voice strong for me again.

"Happy Birthday, Bella. I'll text you later. Bye."

"Bye, Edward."

That had been two weeks ago, and I was still hollow inside. Moving away from Bella was almost like it was when I lost my parents. It seemed like the pain would never go away. I was going through the motions, hoping that Esme and Carlisle wouldn't notice, but I didn't fool them for a second.

It was the beginning of October when the physician in Carlisle decided he wouldn't stand for it anymore. One Monday I came home from school and noticed a Bel-Air police cruiser parked on the street and a weird car in the driveway alongside Carlisle's.

When we entered the house, Carlisle asked Jasper and Emmett to go to their rooms and called me into the family room. There was a woman in a suit and two beefy Bel-Air police officers. I took one look at them and knew what was about to happen.

"I'm not crazy!" I screamed and began pacing. The orderlies hovered. Esme cried, and Carlisle looked like he wanted to.

"Please calm down, son," Carlisle said as he approached me. "Edward you remember Dr. Streeter?"

She stood and offered me her hand to shake, but I wouldn't take it. "Hello, Edward," she said with a smile. "Will you talk to me so we can figure out what we can do to help you?"

"I don't need to talk to you. I just need Bella!" I pulled at my long, greasy hair so hard some of it came out in my hands.

Then things happened really fast.

"Edward…" Carlisle pleaded. Dr. Streeter nodded to the officers, and they came toward me as I ran. I heard someone screaming as I raced through the kitchen and out the patio doors.

I was headed around the pool, and the officers split up, one following right behind me and the other going around to the other side. When they caught me, I struggled violently to get away, but they had me firmly in their grip. Carlisle and Dr. Streeter were just a few seconds behind them. It was like I was a wild animal and couldn't comprehend fully what was going on around me. As I finally figured out I was the one screaming, I felt something prick my skin, and I descended into a darkness that would take me the better part of a year to climb fully out of.

**~vMv~**

When I was high on the meds Dr. Streeter had prescribed for me, I'd lie on my bed with my eyes closed and forage inside myself for pieces of my parents. Was I anything like my dad? Did I inherit anything else from my mom besides her eye and hair color? I resurrected my parents nightly in my dreams and conjured Bella daily in my fantasies.

The dreams about my parents leaving and never returning became nightmares I regularly entertained about Bella. Dr. Streeter said I was fixated on her and this was unhealthy, given the loss of my parents at such a young age. All I knew was that I wanted to see her and I couldn't if I was locked up in a mental hospital. The staff was the enemy, and they were all conspiring against me. I believed they never wanted me to see Bella again. I had to get better quickly so I could at least talk to her.

My reaction, or lack thereof, to the medication made me one for the textbooks. Originally they tried a series of antidepressants that were mild enough for teens and amplified the effect of the mood-stabilizing meds for those with anti-anxiety. However, I probably had every side-effect to these medications known to man. I had digestive problems, jitteriness, restlessness, frequent headaches, and insomnia. Prozac made me so suicidal that I was only on it for six weeks. Carlisle grew frustrated with the guesswork and insisted that they perform a blood test to determine how my body might process antidepressants. Dr. Streeter agreed, and they performed a cytochrome P450 genotyping exam.

To be fair to the medical staff, I sometimes regurgitated my meds or held them under my tongue until the orderlies left me alone. It depended on who was in charge of medication dispensing. Eventually Peter, one of the more astute orderlies, realized what I was doing and began to monitor me closely when he was on duty. On weekends when he wasn't there, he made sure that Felix knew the score.

Drugs were eliminated until they finally landed on Lexapro. The success of the drug, coupled with psychotherapy a few more weeks into my treatment, and I was definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Esme usually visited me daily, with Emmett and Jasper joining her a couple of times a week. I think Carlisle would come in a couple of times a day, but I couldn't really keep track and I refused to ask the staff. Emmett had stopped teasing me because Esme had probably chewed him out. Jasper was the same and just seemed relieved I was in a place where I could get some help.

Just before Christmas, Esme had petitioned for, and received, permission to provide a holiday meal for me. I had overhead her say to one of the nurses, "There's no way I'm going to allow my son to eat institutional food on Christmas Day. Who do I have to talk to?"

That's how I found myself sitting with the family in a conference room eating a Christmas lunch. It wasn't until we got to the opening of presents that things became a little dicey.

"Son, we're going to let you open your presents today, but we have to take them back with us, okay? You can't have them here," Carlisle said gently.

I'd been fine with that until Esme handed me a narrow box. "This one is from Bella," she said.

I tore through the wrapping like my life depended on getting that package open. Inside was an eleven-by seventeen-inch canvas on which Bella had painted a picture of a boy playing piano while a girl sat beside him on the piano bench. It was almost an exact replica of the two of us as we'd sat so many times in the parlor of our house in Forks, her listening intently as I played.

I held the painting to my chest, even as my family prepared to leave. This was a piece of Bella that I wanted to keep with me. Once they had packed everything up to return home, Esme reached for my painting and I lost it.

Felix and Demetri, the orderlies on duty, rushed into the room to subdue me. It took what seemed like an eternity for them to pry the picture from my arms.

Esme was sobbing and saying, "Please let him have it. What can it hurt?"

Carlisle was trying to help me calm down. Finally, he gave up and helped the orderlies subdue me while a nurse gave me a sedative. When my arms went slack and my eyes refused to stay open, I could feel them slipping the painting from my hands.

When I woke up, Carlisle was in the room with me. At first, I couldn't remember the events from earlier, but then it all came back to me.

"What time is it?" I asked, my throat raw from my earlier bout of screaming.

Carlisle poured and handed me a cup of water. "It's 9:15." I took in his appearance. Even his usually pristine and starched white coat was all rumpled and unkempt. I was killing my dad. This had to stop.

I sat up on the side of bed and took a gulp of the water. "Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I want to get better. I'm going to get better."

Carlisle looked surprised by my lucidity, but he hugged me so fiercely I almost spilled the water left in the cup.

"I believe you, son," he said. "I believe you."

I realized then it was still Christmas, so I begged Carlisle to let me call Bella. I could tell he was apprehensive, but I tried to appear as rational as possible.

"We promised her we would be there for Christmas, and we're not. The least you can do is let me talk to her today. I promise I won't get upset."

Carlisle finally reached into his pocket and gave me his cell phone.

My angel answered after only a couple of rings.

"Merry Christmas, Carlisle!" she said. I could hear Christmas music and voices in the background.

My smile was so wide, I split my lips that were already dry due to the medication cocktail I was taking. "It's me, Bella. Merry Christmas to you and Charlie."

"Edward!" she squealed. "Where have you been? Oh God, I've missed you so much. Merry Christmas. Did you get my gift?"

"Yes, I got your gift, and I love it. I hope you got mine." Esme told me she'd gotten Bella a pair of earrings to match the necklace and bracelet I'd given her before. "Um...I've been around, just been trying to adjust to everything."

I continued with the vague explanations we had been giving her. I begged Carlisle and Esme not to tell Bella the truth. In my irrationality, I believed she would think less of me somehow. Esme and Carlisle just didn't want Bella to be hurt because of what was going on with me, so they agreed.

"But we haven't talked for weeks," she said. "You haven't even answered my emails."

"I'm sorry. This place is so different from Forks... I think things will get better after spring break."

"It's okay. I knew there had to be some serious reason for you to break your promise. Maybe soon I can visit you. Esme has given me a standing invitation, and my dad will probably agree."

"I'll ask Mom and Dad, but I'm sure they'll say yes," I said happily. "What's going on at your house?

"Irina and the twins are over here. Oh, guess what? Charlie proposed to Irina yesterday."

"So, you're about to have a couple of stepsisters. Are you getting along any better with them?"

"You might say we've come to a mutual agreement to stay out of each other's way," she stage-whispered.

I talked to Bella for ten minutes. She told me how close she, Alice, and Angela had become and gave me an update on some of our classmates. Finally Carlisle and I heard some noise in the hall, and he involuntarily reached for the phone.

"I have to go now, Bella, but I'll be in touch again soon."

She said goodbye to me the same way I had when I'd left Forks. "Okay. Always and forever."

"Always and forever," I whispered back, but she was gone.

**~vMv~**

**BPOV**

I didn't hear from Edward again until a week before spring break. I was beginning to think that he was having a change of heart but just didn't know how to tell me. I had thought that after hearing from him at Christmas things would go back to the way they had been, but there was silence again for weeks and vague excuses from his family. I was so happy to finally hear his voice, since all my emails and texts had gone eerily unanswered.

"Hi, Bella," he said anxiously. "Are you ready to come for a visit?"

I was so happy to hear from him, I managed to keep most of the sarcasm out of my voice. "I don't know. Do you guys really want me to come?"

"Uhh... Yeah! We talked about this at Christmas. You are coming, right?"

"Charlie's got something planned with Irina and the twins. I'll try to get out of it if you really want me to."

"I really do. Why would you think I wouldn't?"

"Oh, I don't know, something simple like, you don't return my phone calls, my emails, or my texts for weeks." I didn't want to be angry with him, but I was getting mixed signals from my best friend who was supposed to be my boyfriend, and with no explanation.

"It's complicated, Bella. But believe me when I say I want you to come."

I could never stay upset with him for long. "Okay, I'll go talk to Charlie."

Charlie surprisingly fought me on the spring break visit. I knew he was trying hard to blend our families since he and Irina were now engaged, but he was the only one. Neither Irina nor her girls seemed particularly interested in interacting with me very much. I tried to tell Charlie this, but he wouldn't hear of it.

"Bells, you've just gotta be around them more so you guys can get to know each other better. We have a week of uninterrupted bonding we can do in Vancouver. It's time for us to start acting like we're a family. You can go visit the Cullens another time," Charlie said firmly.

"But Dad..."

"No buts. I let Esme take you on vacations with them for years. The least you can do is honor this one request from me."

I had no idea how I was going to break the news to Edward. I retreated to my room and called him immediately.

"Edward, I couldn't get out of the trip. I'm sorry."

Edward exploded. "What do you mean you can't get out of it?" I heard Esme in the background trying to calm him down. "You promised! You said you would come for spring break. You promised. You've got to come... " There was a loud crashing sound, and I heard Esme calling for Emmett and Jasper. Then I heard Edward's phone hit the floor.

"Edward! Edward..." I was afraid. I knew he would be disappointed but had no idea this would be his reaction. Besides, he had ignored me for months, and now I was supposed to just run to him when he called? The next voice I heard was Esme's.

"Sorry about that, Bella. He's so stressed out right now." Her voice was raspy, like she was barely holding back her tears. "We understand if you can't come right now."

"My dad wants us to go on vacation with Irina and her girls. I could come for a long weekend at Easter, maybe..."

"That would be great," Esme said. "Please give your dad our love, okay?"

The next day, I got a long apologetic email from Edward. We were so busy getting ready for our trip, I didn't answer it right away. Once we returned from Vancouver, I did finally answer him. We talked, emailed, and texted, but it wasn't the same.

I never did make it for that long weekend, and for the rest of the year we kept in touch, but as is so often the case, the emails, phone calls, and text messages lessened until they stopped altogether. Distance and time had somehow conspired to kill the friendship we had forged through our loss in our youth.

Inevitably, we each became immersed in our separate lives where we were planted, and I learned to guard my heart. Eventually, I was badgered by one and unconditionally loved by another, until I became inseparable with Alice Brandon and Angela Weber. They were the only two girls in Forks who didn't think I was either too weird or too eccentric to matter. In fact, they were each artistic in their own right. Alice had known since she was a little girl that she would someday have a career in fashion design, and Angela was a fantastic writer and poet who was bound for UW's Creative Writing program upon graduation.

Even though we'd grown apart, I kept up with Edward essentially by cyber stalking him and through my continuing friendship with Esme, who'd stayed in touch with me even when Edward didn't. Carlisle flourished as Chief of Surgery in a hospital to the stars, and Esme was a stay-at-home mom who embraced her favorite charitable causes. Edward and his brothers became involved in academics, sports, and a bevy of extra-curriculars at their posh private school that rivaled most colleges.

Edward's social life eventually exploded in Bel-Air, a mecca of wealth, beauty, and superficiality. His preternatural beauty, along with the impact of the losses he had experienced, made him a prime candidate for fitting into that plastic environment quickly.

His Facebook friends numbered in the hundreds while I barely had fifty, and only about a half-dozen of them that I could loosely consider "friends," other than Alice and Angela. It was as if Edward had made a conscious decision, just like I did, to never put himself out there for anyone again, because people you loved that much didn't tend to hang around. What distinguished us was that I had Alice and Angela, but he didn't get emotionally close to anyone, a fact that troubled Esme.

I watched helplessly from a distance as my best friend and I drifted further and further apart.

**~vMv~**

Charlie and Irina were married, and he brought her and the Evil Barbie Doll Twins to live with us. We were entering the ninth grade, and I was adjusting to my second first day of school without Edward since second grade.

This turn of events, though great for Charlie, effectively changed my life for the worse. While Irina did love my dad in her own way, she detested me because she knew Charlie still loved Renee, and I was constant living proof of that love. Irina pretended to like me when my dad was around, but when he was away at work, as police chiefs often were, Irina and my stepsisters treated me with an indifference that bordered on abuse.

Charlie and I shared a special occasion between us that Irina never knew about. Each year on my parents' wedding anniversary, I would make a picnic basket, and we would visit Renee's grave together.

He picked me up from school in his squad car during my lunch hour, and we headed out to the cemetery. My characteristically taciturn father became a different man when he talked to his first love. We were standing reverently in front of Renee's headstone, and Charlie was talking about me to Renee as if I wasn't there.

"You wouldn't know Bells now, sweetheart. She's grown up so much. Like you, she is kind, beautiful, and artistically talented. I can barely paint the garage without messing it up, but you should see the works of art your daughter creates. We got her those HPV shots. Dr. Gerandy says they are no guarantees, but it gives her a great chance of staving off ovarian cancer..."

"Dad..." I pleaded, embarrassed that he had even felt the need to discuss that with my dead mother.

Charlie soldiered on. "I know you would want Bella to have the chances in life that you didn't, so I've invested a little money to help out on her college expenses." He cleared his throat as his voice got filled with emotion. "I guess you know that I'm married to Irina now and taken in her two daughters. Tanya and Kate are Bella's age, so she's not lonely anymore."

I rolled my eyes but did not interrupt the flow of his one-sided conversation.

"This will probably be the last time I'll be coming on our anniversary, sweetheart, although I will come at other times. It's probably not fair to Irina that I do this, but I'm encouraging Bella to continue with the tradition."

Little did Charlie or I know then how true his statement was. Later that day, Mrs. Cope called me out of class. I found Irina waiting in the school office with one of Charlie's deputies. She was dabbing a tissue at remarkably dry eyes and forcing herself to look like she had lost her best friend. Deputy Crayford addressed me directly.

"Isabella, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. At 1:45 pm Pacific Time your father responded to a call from dispatch for Cora's Diner. He interrupted a robbery in progress, and he had to draw his weapon to defend against the robber who was also armed. The robber shot him, and unfortunately the bullet hit the femoral artery. Before he went down, he injured the robber and he was apprehended. Your father died a hero protecting the safety of the citizens of Forks."

When I heard Officer Crayford's words and the gravity of the situation sunk in, for the first time in my young life, I fainted.

I went through the funeral and memorial service on autopilot. It was only by sheer force of will that I was able to get up each day and function. Irina and the stepsisters magnanimously gave me two weeks to grieve. After that, they resumed their abuse, but it now went far beyond indifference. Now that my father wasn't around, they demanded that I cook, clean, wash, and cater to them as if I were a Molly Maid, not the daughter of Irina's late husband and their stepfather. They didn't have to pretend anymore to show affection for the daughter of the man for whom all they cared about was his insurance policy payout and officer's pension, possibly my only sources of college funding. And in my overwhelming misery, I didn't have the strength to care. In fact, I did everything they asked of me and began to really like cooking, but I never told my stepmother that. Also, the hard work got my mind off of things.

When Esme and Carlisle heard about Charlie's death, they came back to Forks to pay their respects. Irina had not even bothered to contact them, and I had been too busy trying not to self-destruct to call anyone. I vaguely remember Esme fighting with Irina about me. Renee had been Esme's best friend, and she feared that Irina wouldn't treat me well, so she and Carlisle hired a lawyer to inquire about getting custody of me.

Edward called me while his parents were still in Forks working every angle they could to free me from my prison. I don't know what I expected. We hadn't talked in months, but I wasn't prepared for how much he had changed.

An awkward apology tumbled out of his mouth. "Bella, I'm... so sorry. Charlie didn't deserve to die that way."

My hand holding the phone was clammy with sweat, and my throat was dry, but I managed to answer him back. "Thanks, Edward."

"How are you holding up?"

"Okay—I guess."

"Mom and Dad want to bring you back here to live with us." When I didn't respond he said, "I think—I think that would be great. I can introduce you around at school to all the right people, and you'll fit in because you'll essentially be a Cullen by association."

"Oh, really?"

"Em, Jazz, and I, we kinda rule at Bel-Air Prep."

"So, you're part of the in-crowd, huh?"

"Yeah." He chuckled. "It's way different than Forks."

"Who are you and what have you done with the Edward who would rather die than be like Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley?" I tried to joke it away, but I knew he was already entrenched. Even his speech patterns were different.

"You don't have to be like Jessica Stanley or anything, Bella, jeez. They take popularity to a whole new level here in So Cal. You'd be like royalty because you live with us."

I couldn't believe how shallow he had become. "Have you even read the book Esme gave us both for Christmas?"

"What? _Utopia_? Please. They already have us reading tons of classics at school, and I'm not looking to read any more outdated literature than I have to."

"Are you even still playing piano?"

"Yeah, but only when I feel like it. I'm not practicing an hour a day or anything like I used to. I've got sports now too, you know. Don't tell me you're still playing with your watercolors and oil paints?"

"As a matter of fact, I am." As my anger spiked, I couldn't resist telling him off. "You might have sold your soul to whatever devil you're worshipping now, but I'm never giving up painting."

"Well, you don't want to be labeled as the hick painter girl from rural Washington State, you'd be doomed forever to the lower echelons of weird world."

I couldn't believe that Edward actually had the audacity to go there. This was not the same little boy who had comforted me when Renee died. Of all people, I had expected him to understand, but I didn't even know him anymore. Charlie wasn't gone a month and his first reaction was to caution me about upholding their reputations in La La Land. It didn't occur to him that popularity was so low on my list of priorities then, it was inexistent. I wouldn't realize until much later just how much this exchange between us hurt me. I think I was just too numb about Charlie at that point to care.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you'd become such a monumental douche, Edward. Grow up!" I said, hanging up abruptly.

Esme and Carlisle exhausted all their efforts to take me back with them, finally conceding defeat. Charlie's will was clear and could not be successfully contested unless Irina would allow them to take me. Of course, Irina wouldn't hear of that. She would lose her built-in maid and access to the funds that Charlie had left for me. She was not about to let that happen.

I was disappointed for Carlisle and Esme's sake. However, I convinced myself that I wasn't overly concerned because I had decided that going to live in California with the new not-improved version of Edward was not something I really wanted to do. I would rather cheerfully gouge my eyes out than live anywhere near _that_ Edward.

Esme sobbed steadily through our goodbyes, and it was only then I had the good sense to fear what would happen when they left. Irina and her daughters had been cordial and even kind to me while the Cullens were in town, but I didn't know what I was going to get once they were gone.

"Bella, I'll always be here for you. If you ever need me, don't hesitate to contact me. I'll continue to call and write just as I always have," Esme promised.

Esme held me in her arms for a long time before they left. It was the last motherly affection I would receive for a long time… and the last time I would hear from her until all the Cullens came back into my life.

**~vMv~**

**E/N: I recently wrote a one-shot for a contest that pushed the limits of the word capacity and was so ambitious, it is just begging to be fleshed out into a small work in progress, of sorts. So at the end of March, I'll be posting said one-shot, which I will break up into approximately 5-7 chapters and will post a chapter a day until the story wraps. I'll share more information once the contest ends so you'll know what to be looking for. I can't give you the details yet, because the contest isn't over. Please put me on author alerts if you want to receive this new work.**

**Lately, I've been reading: The Plan by QuantumFizzx (which I could read over and over again), Fridays At Noon by Troublefollows1017 (which had me hooked for like two days), Trippin, Slippin, Stumbletumblin by Yellowglue (which I'm just beginning and loving), and Righteous and Wicked by (is about to end and I'm going into withdrawals).**

**My almost complete WIP, Trust, Loyalty, Commitment was featured as a Weekly Fic Pick by The Twilight Awards (go check it out): http : / reviews dot thetwilightawards dot com/search/label/Belli486**

**(Remove the spaces and insert the dots to access the site).**


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